I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize