She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
