the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
