i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
