we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
