so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
