I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
