I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
