I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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