okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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