This girl is more easily done than said...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
