So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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