Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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