i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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