he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
