I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
