Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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