We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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