I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My life is pants optional.
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