what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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