why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
