So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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