i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
