All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
