four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize