im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
