turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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