Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
