Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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