he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
