its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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