True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
