Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
