At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
