In the future we'll all be gay
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
