We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
