OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
