Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize