You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
