You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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