I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize