we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
