i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize