Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize