Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
