You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
