Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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