at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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