OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
