wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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