just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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