It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
