i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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