Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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