i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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