Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She bit a glass in half.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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