Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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