How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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