There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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