I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
