omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you never un-have a 4some
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize