Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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