Having a random hookup so left but love u
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
