my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i believe in u and ur pee
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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