Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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