Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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