He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
